needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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