a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
