Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
