So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
