Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
