how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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