carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
