Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
COCAINE IS GR8
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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