Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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