I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
