I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
