They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Randomize
