are you so shy because you have an std?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
