i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Randomize
