ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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