the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
