Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
