sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
