How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
