My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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