Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You left your phone here
Wait...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
