and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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