I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
