ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
