So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
