why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
