none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
