Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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