i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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