therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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