we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
