so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
