I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
