I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Someone shattered a urinal.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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