i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
