Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
