I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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