I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
