Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
