States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Text me some of your sweat
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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