guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
