why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
