Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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