Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
