I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
