were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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