I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
