dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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