ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
