Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
