never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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